today will be a perfect opportunity for a blog entry in the new category “fails and stupidity”.
There are days, where the things I do, won’t come out as perfect as I imagined they would. And then there are days, where I look at the things I’ve done and congratulate myself for proving, that I can be as dumb as a box of rocks.
It all started with an idea for a new cosplay. Well – not really an idea, more like a hunch. One character I really like to cosplay once I get the others done, is Ultimecia from Final Fantasy 8, who beat the sh*t out of me when I fought her the first time. Loved that game.
Today I was a bit bored and was just thinking about how I could make that costume theoretically. I’m nowhere near starting, I was just fooling around with a few thoughts. The main problem would be, that the costume stays exactly where it is supposed to stay. I’m not keen on losing my cleavage on my way to a convention. Tape is not an option, for I have a rather large bust, so the costume would look quite unflattering without a bra.
While I was browsing through my shelves in my hobby room, I found a bottle of latex milk, which I ordered a few weeks ago, for the purpose of building Sailor Saturns Silence Glaive. I asked myself, if it would be possible, to build some sort of bodysuit with flesh-coloured Latex. It would have a few advantages. On many conventions, too revealing costumes are forbidden nowadays, but bodysuits are fine. Also, I’d be able to attach the red coat on it – so the costume would fit perfect and stay that way, even if I move around a lot. It is possible to make awesome masks with latex milk, so it was worth a try.
So far everything was fine until I entered a whole new level of retardness.
I never really worked with latex milk, so there is no way I need manuals or how-to-videos. Sophisticated as I always am, when I do something I’ve never done before, I grabbed a brush, the Latex milk and tried out, what happened, when I put the milk directly on my skin.
Well – actually that was not the problem at all. I guess a lot of people would try a bit on a tiny spot somewhere on an arm or a leg or something.
But not me, ladies and gentleman.
A retard like me goes full retard, when she has the chance to.
There I was. Standing half naked in our living room, painted from chin to panties in countless layers of sticky Latex Milk, when my husband entered. He stared at me in disbelieve, muttering: “What … the f*ck … are you doing?”.
This was the time, where I started to ask myself, how long Latex milk needs to dry. I looked it up, while I was trying not to get stuck on my chair. Did you know it takes stuff like that at least 24 hours to dry?
I could hear my husband laughing hysterically, while I took a shower. A long shower.
The nice part was: I was as waterproof as someone could get. I thought about a new career as an umbrella, but after a whole bottle of body peeling the first layers started to come off.
The rest of the day I spend peeling of Latex from myself. I’m not quite finished yet, but at least I’m not feeling like a plastik bag anymore.
Honestly, I have no Idea why my brain cells stopped working today. I know I do stupid stuff sometimes, but this just takes the cake.
My advice for my dear readers?
It is okay to try out new ideas. It’s important to try out new ideas. But do it in small, reasonable steps. Except you’d like to have memories, that will always be warmed up at family meetings. (“Hey Honey! Remember the one day where I had to tell our neighbour that he can’t come in, because you were standing in the living room, soaked in Latex milk?” Yepp. I’m looking forward to christmas.)